How to Pick a Fertility Clinic
Shop around, ask questions, and don't let them blame you
As states such as Alabama threaten in vitro fertilization with fetal personhood laws, couples facing infertility are in a dark place. The stress of trying to conceive is overwhelming and expensive, an emotional roller coaster that repeats every few weeks. Research has shown that women in this predicament have the same levels of anxiety and depression as those with cancer.
I spent thousands of dollars and three years on failed fertility treatments, all made worse by a miscarriage that occurred early in the process. Doctors repeatedly blamed me for not responding well to hormone injections, or having a “thin” uterine lining. They were wrong. When I finally found a good doctor and had a uterine polyp removed, I stopped all treatments and conceived naturally two months later.
With that in mind, please be cautious when choosing a fertility clinic. Their quality, integrity and compassion vary widely; don’t pick one just because it’s close to your house or accepts your insurance. Here are some key questions to consider:
Look up the clinic’s success rates on the Centers for Disease Control’s database for assisted reproductive technology. The language is a little wonky because IVF is a multi-step process involving egg retrievals that don’t always result in embryo transfers. I recommend looking for “what percentage of transfers resulted in live-birth deliveries.” Make sure you see the rates that apply to your age group; rates will vary depending on whether you plan to use your own eggs.
If you receive a diagnosis of “unexplained” infertility, ask about a hysteroscopy—a procedure that offers a closer look at your uterus for things like polyps, fibroids and scar tissue. It’s not expensive and is often covered by insurance. If your doctor balks at this idea without good reason, consider switching clinics. I did, and my new doctor found the polyp on the first visit, in part because he listened carefully to my medical history and performed an immediate ultrasound.
If the doctor makes you feel ashamed, blames you for your “bad” uterus, low egg count, etc., trust your gut and walk out. If a person is cold and unfeeling in the initial meeting, you don’t want him to end up scraping your endometrial lining without anesthesia (yes, that happened).
If the clinic is pushing you to consider IVF before other, less invasive procedures, be wary. There are lots of options before you get to that point, and good doctors don’t assume you have $15,000 to spend on a gamble.
If they insist on giving you hormonal birth control between treatment cycles, protest. That’s for the doctor’s benefit, not yours. If I had followed those instructions I’d never have conceived my son.
Just because you are in your late 30s, or—gasp!—over 40, don’t assume you are doomed. Each woman’s body and ovarian reserve are different. Even in my very small Southern town, I know four mothers (including me) who conceived naturally at 40 or later. (If you live in New York, delayed motherhood is so common there’s a theme song for you). Find a compassionate doctor, run some tests, and make a plan.
Join a support group. RESOLVE, the National Infertility Association, has a database here. Your fellow travelers through the hell-scape of infertility will offer far better advice than any stranger could.